你不在，当我最需要爱。

I'm not many things.

I may not have brought back a souvenir from overseas for you.

But I had myself signed, sealed and delivered to you, if that's okay with you.

I may not have painted a picture, or wrote a song on impulse for you.

But I've made a card, wrote you a poem on impulse and made you silly handicrafts, if that's okay with you.

I may not have said things to make you feel better when you are down.

But in my heart is a really big hug for you, if that's okay with you.

I may not have fussed over you when you don't talk to me.

But I've fussed over you when you don't have food to eat, clean clothes to wear, enough exercise or sleep, if that's okay with you.

I may have said that I wanted to end up with someone else before I got together with you.

But the thing is, I got together with you, if that's okay with you.

I may not bring you to have ice cream when you are upset at work.

But I got you flowers, if that's okay with you.

I can't bring you to surprise European holidays.

But I can bring you to watch concerts at cheap ticket prices and listen to soothing music, if that's okay with you.

I may be a disappointment; a waste of time; a loser to you.

But I'm trying not to be, if that's okay with you.

I may be the source of an emotional roller coaster ride for you.

But I'm trying not to be, and there were the ups too, if that's okay with you.

I may not be loving and affectionate like how you want it.

But I'm still trying to be, if that's okay with you.

I may not feel warm towards you all the time.

But I'm trying to be warm all the time, if that's okay with you.

I may have made you cry week after week.

But I have made you smile. I'll just try to do it more, if that's okay with you.

I may not have the power to make you forget what you've read.

But I can always encourage you to look past it and let me come as I am, if that's okay with you.

I may not like you to compare.

I'm treating you the best, so there really isn't much to compare, if that's okay with you.

I wish I could press a button, turn back time, and not have all those things that make you upset.

But yesterday's history. We only have the gift of the present and the mystery of tomorrow, if that's okay with you.

You may not feel like I love you.

But I do, if that's okay with you.

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How to manage a brand crisis through social media - Media

How to manage a brand crisis through social media - Media

Investing in yourself

When read literally, the term "investing in yourself" sounds narcissistic and selfish -- to the point where it's almost disgusting to say "I invest in myself".

Well, what does it mean, really? Investing in yourself? There are no bonds/stocks to be traded here, no deals to be closed. How do you "invest in yourself"?

Basically, what it means is to better yourself in a multitude of ways. Pick up a new sport, learn a musical instrument, read about something you never thought you'd read -- things that make you a better person each day.

---- ---

It's time to invest in yourself, Sean. In all ways, every day.

:)

'Twas a good birthday dinner.

Sean, you...

don't know what you want.

are not stable.

are unpredictable.

have mood swings.

are scary.

are an idiot.

need to get a grip on yourself.

are a loser.

are a disappointment.

are a waste of time.

should just fuck off and die.

will never make it into a big firm.

are a smart alec.

----------------------------------

Oh well.

The Hungry March

I must start writing regularly by next week.

I must start to be proactive by tomorrow.

I must learn something new every day, starting tomorrow.

I must feel the brain getting confused and frustrated. That is how I know I'm improving.

I must keep fit and eat more fruits.

I must love my girlfriend more.

I must have a decent-sized book by the end of the year.

And the biggest (and also the most ironic) "must" of all,

I must not put too much pressure on myself.

After all I've mentioned, adding in a pressure-inducing statement to mitigate all the other pressures isn't exactly an effective measure is it?

Now that got me thinking -- whoever said doing a "must" should be pressurising?

I'll always have the choice to have fun, but it seems I respond better to obligation, although having fun ensures less stress, less boredom, less humdrum and less frustration if the above "musts" are not fulfilled.

Why am I driven by obligation?

I love this time of the night. It seems like all the clever one-liners are queueing up for the 1pm show.

"If we were to play a game, and if I had to be a flying bird, I'd be a penguin. Because that's what I like to do: the impossible."

(S)hi(t)story repeats itself

For the first time in Allah-knows-how-long,

I shat in my pants.

Underwear, to be exact.

Beyond this point, it is TDMI (Too Damn Much Information).

Loose change.

It doesn't fucking pay to be nice.

Exploration of the Subconscious

I hate dwelling in my own thoughts, neither do I like dwelling in the thoughts of others.

Every time I enter the inner realm, it does not set me free. It becomes a prison instead, slave to my reasoning; my logic; my flaws in those areas; and ultimately, I become eternally trapped. A jail of delusion and grandeur, much like schizophrenia. I worry myself with these self-diagnoses sometimes.

Perhaps I do think too much. Perhaps, there is such a thing as over-planning -- which eventually leads to the argument of "nothing is ever good in excess".

Words like "more", "less", "very", "a little" complicate the complex feelings we already have.
"I'm slightly affected" does not weigh less than "I'm heavily affected" when it comes to emotions. When one is affected, he simply is; if not, then he is not.

Emotions are not like paint splatters on the wall. When you feel, you feel it all. That is why emotions are powerful forces of creation and, unfortunately, destruction.

Only a fool tries to measure his pleasure and pain. Such a fool I am.

This post is also an exercise in punctuation and succinctness, after being inspired by "Effective Writing Skills For Public Relations".

I'm tapping out. The grey areas of the human psyche are much harder to manage than I imagined.

P.S. I love you. :)

P.P.S. I have a long way to go, I have a long way to go, I have a long way to go, I have a long way to go.

Hoop dreams

Weekend come soon, please...

In fact, I could actually go ball now. Thing is, I need a proper ball.

Side note: I hate balls that don't bounce properly i.e. they go off sideways instead of all the way back up. i.e. a Nike ball I used to have.

Kelvin's ball is pretty good to play with. Feels great, the weight is solid, responsive handles.

Balls to that.

Balls.

Rewind

How I wish I could turn back time and live with the wisdom and the courage I have today. My life would've been eleven times better.

Too many regrets to count... simply too many.

And I thought coming back would be a great start. In reality, I dug myself a really deep shithole.

Goddammit.